my son, my daughter and my thoughts

Well, I was hoping that my daughter goes to sleep so that I can sleep too.

Since I had a little time in my hand till she goes to sleep,(yes, I am rocking her with my feet... She is in bassinet that rocks)I thought I write a little...

Time flies by... My life has been changed a lot since I had my first son. Now, with two kids, even more change in my life. Great change. I would never exchange for anything. They are cute and they are so precious. Yep, they are handful.

I often wonder how I can show them how much I love them. Life is hard enough just to live. If only one thing I can teach them, I would like them to know how much I love them. I mean if I were great LDS woman, then I may need to say to teach them faith, Heavenly Father, Gospel so on... Well, as some of you know how selfish I am, what I want them to know is how much I love them...

It seem like never enough to show them love. I feel like I scowled at little H more than I show him love... I feel like I keep saying "You need to stop that. you need to listen mom. Do not...." more than "I love you."

yea, it is important to teach them a good manner and moral and all. But if someone knows they are loved, that gives them a power.

Well, I guess I am not a perfect mom.

In my nightly prayer, there are a lot of repentance every night. There are many I wish I handled better the situation with little H...

Trying every day to be a better mother... When I learn or master how to handle little one, it may be a too late. But what can I do? I do not have a perfect manual or answer how to raise a child.

Well, people say, scripture. True. But everyday little things get me and do not have enough time to think about it till nightly prayer.... yea, my life gets to be filled with changing diapper and feeding.... I know there is no excuse. I know there is no BUT. However, when I hear baby cries and little H called for "ka (it means mom)", I often cannot hear anything else....

I feel bad that they have to put up with mom like me. But you know they came to me so they must have a strength to endure me, right? hahaha

I love them more than anyone. Well, I love you, my husband!!! so no worry.

I am just bubbling so there is no point to this entry...

When I gave a birth, I was amazed myself and life itself. Since I did not use any medication (meaning natural), I was very much awear what was going on... I felt their energy and eagerness to come to this world. I saw and felt they knew what they were supposed to do.... I mean I did not teach them but they knew how to come this world...

They probably already know what right things are like they knew how to come to this world.... But like all of us, we get distracted.... So I guess my job is to guide them to right path...

The responsibility seems so big and I wonder I am qualify for it.... But I guess it is too late to back off. haha.

Even though it seems so hard sometime, it always ends with how happy I am to have these two children. I cannot thank enough to have them in my life.

If I were younger (let's say 15 years), I would love to have 3 more kids. hahah.

Why 3? I do not know. It just came to my mind.

I have never known I like kids this much. I mean I was not the type of person who love to hold baby and stuff. I did not have much thoughts about kids before. I mean I was simply not interested in them much.

But now, I like them. Well, particularly, my own kids.

hey, thanks to come to my life and give me a lot of happy days, kids!

One thing is sure. I like to be a mother of these children and it is the best job I have ever had!!!!

I am so glad that I am a woman.

I am lucky to be stay home mother. Every little thing my kids do, make my day and week, month and year.

Yeap, I feel going crazy somtime but who doesn't. I thought I go crazy when I working with bunch of engineers. hahaha. I would rather feel going crazy about my kids.

Well, now Little Shii chan is sleep now. I better go to sleep...

I love to see my little baby sleep....